5 Simple Ways To Manage Back To School Anxiety (Your, Not Your Kids)
If you’re reading this post, there’s a good chance that you’ve struggled (or are still struggling) with whether or not to send your kids back to school or daycare this Fall.
A lot has been written about how to help your kids to manage their back-to-school anxiety- but what about yours?
Most of us have made a decision about school/daycare that feels a bit like playing ‘pin the tail on the donkey’, holding our breath and hoping for the best.
Whether you’re planning on sending your children to school, homeschooling, or creating a pod, there’s a good chance that you’re experiencing anxiety around your decision. Anytime there is uncertainty, anxiety can seep in with our imagination often filling in the gaps and, for many, the tendency to project the ‘worst-case scenario’ can pop up.
For others, the tendency to minimize or repress our anxiety can make us less aware of it but insidiously, it can seep out in other ways, making us quick to temper or engaging in other unhealthy coping behaviours (like losing it on our kids or partners, disordered eating, compulsive shopping).
Most of us are exhausted from the last few months of balancing our need for safety with the need for connectivity and socialization (not to mention our children’s educational needs)- all with reduced or removed additional child care supports- and here we are needing to now make this difficult decision of ‘to send or not to send.
So here are 5 Key Tips to Managing Your Back to School Anxiety
1. Ground yourself in solid information
If you haven’t already check out @profemilyoster for no-nonsense data and information on everything COVID and child care related) and go to your province or state’s official health pages to stay up to date on current health info in your area
2. There is no ‘right’ way, only ‘your way’
Remind yourself that there is no objective ‘right’ answer here and only the decision that feels ‘right’ for your family based on your particular circumstances and tolerance for risk. Decision-making can be exhausting because many of us have the faulty belief that there is an objective ‘right decision’ that we simply need to have revealed to us. The reality is that with most decisions, there are simply pros and cons in either direction, and all we can do is make the decision that feels right for us in that particular time, given the information that we have on hand.
3. Hater’s Gonna Hate
Whatever you decide, there will be people around you who will be critical of your choice. After you make your decision, if you are experiencing doubt, avoid talking about it again, which can bring you back into that decision-making mindset. You can politely and firmly state your boundaries and change the topic. It is not your job to explain yourself to others regarding what’s best for your family.
4. It’s ok to change your mind
As information changes, which it is at a seemingly rapid pace now, you can change your mind. The need for a flexible, open mind right now is key. Know that you do not need to rigidly adhere to a decision and that extraordinary times like these, really do require a degree of flexibility that may be a challenge for some of us. Remembering that it is ok and perhaps even a growth opportunity to stay open and flexible can help.
5. Ground Yourself, Move Your body, Distract
Once you have made your decision, if anxiety continues to crop up for you (which it likely will at times), acknowledge that the anxiety is normal during times of great uncertainty and then consciously do something to help to contain it- like taking deep diaphragmatic breaths (you can check out my 3-minute mindfulness practice here for a try), do something active (vacuuming, a tickle fest or pillow fight with your kiddos will all do the trick) or take your mind off of it with something fun and distracting (never underestimate the power of Netflix). And of course, if you continue to experience anxiety, a good therapist can help you to manage, contain, and process your feelings.
These are stressful times, you are not alone. Please reach out for support if you are struggling.
*This information is not therapeutic advice and is the opinion of these authors and is not in lieu of mental health support from a licensed clinician in your area. If you are struggling, please reach out to a licensed mental health worker in your area.