The Struggle With Breastfeeding: When is Enough Enough?
If you struggle with breastfeeding your child, you’re not alone—research shows that although 91% of Canadian mothers start breastfeeding, only 34% breastfeed exclusively for 6 months.
Societal pressures to breastfeed can lead new moms to feel like failures for not being able to feed their babies the “right” way. And with a recent subtle (but still significant) update to the American Academy of Pediatrics’ breastfeeding policy, some women may feel increased guilt over an already fraught situation.
AAP encourages extended breastfeeding
The AAP recently issued an updated policy statement that, for the most part, reiterates its original recommendations: exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months, which should then be maintained along with complementary foods.
So what’s new? The guidelines now support continued breastfeeding for up to 2 years, citing the many health benefits of doing so for both mother and baby. This is in line with the recommendations of the World Health Organization (WHO) as well as those from the Canadian Pediatric Society.
In the policy statement, the AAP states, “Mothers who decide to breastfeed beyond the first year need support. They often report feeling ridiculed or alienated in their choice and conceal their breastfeeding behavior to minimize unsolicited judgment and comments.”
With the stigma that surrounds breastfeeding a toddler, there’s no doubt that mothers who choose to go this route require support from their health practitioners, employers, families, and friends. But for those who struggle with breastfeeding and look forward to an end in sight, hearing they should try to push through for another year (or more) could be a distressing message to take in.
Why do mothers struggle with breastfeeding?
As much as we’re aware of the many benefits of breastfeeding, we tend to hear less about the negative outcomes for women who may find the process challenging.
Breastfeeding is supposed to come “naturally” to moms (or so we’re told), but unfortunately, this often isn’t the case. Physical issues such as latching problems, mastitis, engorgement, or low milk supply can turn breastfeeding into a miserable experience for mothers. And even without any major challenges, some moms simply just don’t enjoy the act of breastfeeding, finding it exhausting and isolating.
In a culture where we continually hear “breast is best,” it’s easy to see how not being able to continue—or even start—breastfeeding can make a mother feel like she’s fallen short of her motherly duties. So rather than “give up,” many women continue to struggle in silence, increasing the likelihood of postpartum depression and anxiety. And with the transition to parenthood already being rife with mental health challenges (thank you hormones and sleep deprivation), the pressure to breastfeed can bring some moms to their breaking point.
Rethinking a one-size-fits-all approach to feeding
For this particular group of mothers, it’s fairly easy to see why pushing the idea of extended breastfeeding may cause more harm than benefit—especially given the lack of supports in place for new moms.
As ideal as two years of breastfeeding may sound, we need to account for each individual’s unique experience, and acknowledge the fact that breastfeeding isn’t the be-all and end-all of being a “good” mother. We know that for a baby to truly be happy and healthy, mom needs to be happy and healthy as well—and that can only happen if she protects her mental health.
We recently heard from a mom who struggled so much with nursing her first child that when she became pregnant with her second baby, she knew immediately that breastfeeding would not be on the menu this time around. She instructed her nurses at the hospital to act accordingly, and stressed that she was resolute in her decision.
The result? A much more joyful postpartum experience and increased mental health, which surely had direct impacts on the happiness and health of the new baby.
So what’s our real takeaway from the AAP’s policy revision? That no matter how you choose to feed your baby, or how long you choose to do it for, your decision should be met with support—and most definitely without any judgment.
*This information is not therapeutic advice and is the opinion of these authors and is not in lieu of mental health support from a licensed clinician in your area. If you are struggling, please reach out to a licensed mental health worker in your area.